Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
