doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
