So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
