my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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