So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
