chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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