I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
