walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
