So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
