32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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