is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
