i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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