meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
