She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
