Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
