Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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