and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She told me I should be a condom model.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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