he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
