i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
