I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
