New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
vagina is talking i cant
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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