i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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