Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
