Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
