Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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