She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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