Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
