Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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