so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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