DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
