my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
