And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize