I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
this will be a night to untag.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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