Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
