just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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