I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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