Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize