Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
