You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
4 words: hood of his car
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
