He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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