forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize