we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
