I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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