I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
