did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
