girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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