Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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