I'm going to jail i love you
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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