This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
And then my night got REAL pukey
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
