Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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