dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
