I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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