if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
North Korea, Best Korea!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize