My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize