hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Randomize
