I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
