walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
