Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
