Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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