Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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