Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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