Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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