Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
