I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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