All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
